No Laughing Matter
by Little Halo
Summary: So very quickly their little tight knit group of six had been reduced to four with two being voted off the island. Because it takes two to tango, or in this case sex. Jez wished that sex was all it was. Danny/Jez
1. Chapter 1

**No Laughing Matter**

**Chapter 1**

After sex Danny was kind of like drunk Danny. He was giggly. Not exactly ideal for the circumstances. He would burst out into chuckles over nothing and laugh about _everything_. Just like he was laughing now as Jez's foot got caught in the very clothes he had been searching for in the dark. He ended up on the floor with a muted thud. He crawled over kneeling next to the bed where Danny lay twisting in hysterics.

"Shh!" Jez hissed. "They'll hear you!" They, referring to the three girls having a movie night downstairs. One of those girls being Danny's girlfriend. His frantic voice only made Danny laugh harder so Jez resorted to extreme measures pressing a bruising kiss to the boy's lips. Danny returned easily with all his energy leaving the room spinning in front of Jez's eyes. He then remembered that breathing was necessary for life and pulled away.  
"Sorry." Danny hiccupped a laugh at the end and then bit his bottom lip to keep the rest in. He was unsuccessful. Jez rolled his eyes. "I'm trying!" He squirmed hiccupping and panting. Jez couldn't help but chuckle at his face. Jez kissed him again and Danny grabbed hold of his arm pulling him forward until he was on top of him. The heavy snogging did nothing to help Danny's breathing problem. It wasn't long until the boy couldn't catch his breath and the giggles continued every few seconds.

Much to his disappointment Jez rolled off him and scooped up the pants he had been searching for previously and pulled them on. "Where are you going?"

"Water." Jez stated simply. Danny sat up.

"But, downstairs. The girls." He seemed to be having trouble completing simple sentence.

"Feet of a dancer, they won't hear a thing mate. Plus you need it yea?" Jez didn't wait for a response. He slipped though the door and down the stairs. He picked out Lauren and Claudine on the couch in the dark. Lola was out, sleeping on the recliner, all of them facing away from him. Titanic was playing on the television but they seemed to have lost interest. He smiled. It seemed that Lauren and Claudine were finally having some much needed quality time. They were talking in friendly voices from what he could tell.

He pulled two bottles of water from the fridge, all without a single creak from the old wood floor. With the bottle in hand Jez suddenly became aware of his dry throat. He tucked one under his arm and twisted the cap. Water splashed to the floor.

Shit. There it went. The secret Danny begged him so desperately to keep was gone. He closed his eyes and waited for the girls to come to the kitchen and turn on the light, blinding him and just stand there opened mouthed to find Jez in the house at one in the morning with no shirt. His belt wasn't even buckled, his hair surely a mess.

And then he heard Claudine voice from the couch and he slumped over the counter relieved. The movie became the background and Claudine's voice took center stage. This was the first time he ever thought of her big mouth as a good thing. He took a long swig of the water.

"Don't you think it's a bit strange how Danny seemed so completely comfortable at Jez's house? Almost like he's been there before."

Jez choked on the water running down his throat. It sprayed from his mouth and he backed up. He slipped on the very water he spilled on the floor and ended up flat on his back drenched from what remained in the bottle in his hand.

The kitchen light flipped on and Claudine, Lauren, and a very sleepy looking Lola appeared.

"Jez?" Lauren said slowly, in shock. Jez banged the back of his head on the floor, staring up at the ceiling.

_Fuck_.


	2. Chapter 2

**No Laughing Matter**

**Chapter 2**

Claudine was the first to put the puzzle pieces together. She may be self-absorbed but she wasn't thick. She was smart enough and experienced enough to recognize what after sex looked like. Once you knew the look it was easy, simple, like breathing. And by the look on her face it was obvious she knew.

Lauren, sweet Lauren was less worried about why he was here as she kneeled next to him. "Are you ok?" She asked gingerly with her hand on the side of his face as he propped himself on his elbows. Jez wanted to scream at her. He wanted to scream at the top of his lungs at the sweet girl who never did anything but care about him. No, he wasn't ok; he wanted to yell it at her. He was sleeping around with her boyfriend. He felt guilty but he couldn't bring himself to regret a single moment he had with Danny. He felt angry, an extreme amount of jealousy toward the girl.

Angry, because she had Danny in ways that he couldn't. They were free to hold hands when walking down the hallway. They were free to cuddle on the couch, in daylight while Jez was shoved into empty classrooms during breaks and ambushed in the locker room when everyone else had gone. "Oh, you're a mess!" Lauren laughed. She reached across him and pulled a hand towel from the stove handle. Her kindness was like a punch to the stomach. She held it out to him but Jez was staring past her. Lauren turned to see what held his attention.

Claudine.

She was stiff, stuck somewhere between shocked and . . . and something else Jez didn't want to imagine. He knew that as they sat there her brain was going to work. He had to do something because he knew what was coming next. "I-I" The words wouldn't form in his mouth. She was red in the face, fists shaking at her sides. He closed his eyes and flinched back waiting for impact. "You," She gave a quavered whisper low in her throat. He opened his eyes. "You little slut!" She shrieked. Lola, still sleepy jumped. Lauren's mouth fell open and Jez backed up until he was leaning against the counter curling in on himself. He wanted to make himself as small as possible. That wasn't easy when you were six-foot.

Claudine turned on her head and thundered to the bottom of the staircase. "Danny!" She squealed at the top of her lungs. "Danny! Danny Miller!" Lauren rose to her feet slowly not quite sure of what was going on. Both pair of eyes still in the kitchen turned on him. He put his head in his hands to escape their gaze.

"Fuck it all," Danny drawled from the top of the steps. "What do you want!" He sounded tired, like he had been sleeping. There was no sleeping going on in that room, that was for sure but Danny was a very good actor. "Do you know what bloody time it is?"

"Bed seem a little lonely up there, Danny? A little empty perhaps?" Claudine snapped with venom laced in her voice. It was sharp and cut right though Danny.

"Claudine, what are you talking about?" Lauren asked. Jez prayed that she wouldn't answer. _Just keep quiet Claudine, just keep quiet for once in you life!_ He begged in his mind.

"Your fuck buddy seemed to have gotten lost." The silence that followed was long. The only sound was that of Jack Dawson _"Don't let go Rose, never let go."_

Jez pulled at his hair. He'd like to be anywhere but here at the moment/ He'd even rather be in his cold and oversized bedroom in his mansion of a house with his father telling him how worthless he was. He would have welcomed the familiar words of how he was wasting his life away twirling around dance studios and singing useless little songs.

Shame. It was a feeling he knew all to well but he had never felt more ashamed than the moment when Lauren's tear-filled eyes turned to him in realization. He felt dirty, sitting there with sweet, innocent Lauren's eyes on him. He rose to his feet, backed up against the counter.

And then Danny was there at the bottom of the steps and it hurt. It physically hurt in Jez's chest to even look at him. "Danny?" Lauren squeaked. She was looking for anything. She was looking for anything that she might tell her that it wasn't true. Jez wished that Danny had something to tell her. His mouth was parted, his eyes glassed over like he was silently crying without tears. It was a picture perfect image of when he was up on stage with Girls Aloud and wasn't able to read the question cards.

This was Danny Miller's tortured face.

Lauren's hand across Jez's cheek broke the silence. He eyes, still with tears now showed betrayal. Jez didn't know if the slap had been directed to purely him or at Danny but Jez was within arms reach. Or maybe it was directed at them both. He would slap him too if he was Lauren.

She ran from the house, pushing Danny roughly out of the way on her path to the front door. "Oh for gods sake," Claudine huffed. She shoved Danny chasing after the redheaded girl. Lola, confused and still very much in shock followed.

Jez slid to the floor once again, wrapping his arms over his stomach and becoming a small as possible. He slept with someone else's boyfriend. Not even just once, there were many times. He hurt an innocent girl, his friend. Claudine was right he was just a slut.

He closed his eyes but the tears spilled over as he replayed the phrase over and over again in his head.

_Little slut._

_Dirty little slut._

"Jez." Danny said weakly.

"I'm sorry," Jez choked.

"It's not your fault, yea?" Then there he was sitting next to him. Even though Jez pulled away arms still snaked their way around him and suddenly there was a chest to cry on.

He hurt Lauren. He hurt Danny. Hell, he was even hurting Claudine and her deluded crush. He was hurting himself. And sitting there as Danny kissed the top of his head telling him over and over that it wasn't his fault, he was hurting them all that much more.


	3. Chapter 3

No Laughing Matter

Chapter 3

Danny's room looked different. It was no longer a warm and comfortable place. The bedside lamp cascaded a small area with light and the corners were left in darkness. Jez waited for the shadows to grow larger until they reached out and swallowed him whole. He wouldn't mind if that were to actually happen, he would welcome it even.

The room felt different because suddenly he felt that he didn't belong in it. It was uneasily hot but goose bumps still prickled at his skin. He sat on the edge of Danny's bed, fully clothed, but not to his normal standards. Jez had always prided himself in his own personal style but not this time, not tonight. His shirt was un-tucked and the buttons were mismatched. His tie hung loosely from his neck, the knot still in tact, which was surprising considering the way Danny had ripped it over his head. His belt was several notches too loose and his shoes remained untied.

But he made no move to fix any of it. He couldn't fix anything. His smile and sparkling blue eyes usually got him anything he wanted. Smiling wouldn't be able to alter time.

"He has no where to go!" He heard Danny's muffled voice from downstairs. "His ass of a Dad wants nothing to do with him!" Jez came and left the mansion whenever he wanted. His father wouldn't acknowledge his existence but wouldn't deny him shelter. So Jez came and left as he pleased, usually going there only when absolutely necessary but it was no longer his _home. _It was just the place that held his belongings. According to Jack Tyler, he didn't have a son anymore.

"He can't stay here!" Claudine shrieked. He wasn't wanted anywhere now. He ran his hands over his face and forced his aching body upright. He wasn't wanted here so the most logical solution was to leave even if he had no where else to go.

Lauren's door was shut and he held his breath as he past. There were two soft voices inside, one broken and crying, Lauren. And another low and consoling, Lola. The sounds of their voices were overtaken by Claudine's screams. She yelled things that Jez would never picture coming from such a pretty girl's mouth. Her favorites seemed to be calling Danny a "fucking wanker" and Jez a "dirty little slut."

He slid down the stairs slowly and quietly careful not to trip over his shoelaces. He reached the bottom the yelling died away immediately. Claudine was halfway though another curse and Danny was trying to calm her to no avail. They both stopped. Claudine stared at him wide eyed not in an angry way but in more in surprise that he dared to show his face in front of her. Jez cleared his throat. "Right then," He croaked his tone several octaves higher than normal. He nodded to himself and turned grasping the door handle. Danny reached his hand out at a loss for what to say but it seemed fitting that he did say something. But what? Stay? He couldn't ask Jez to stay even though he wanted him to. "Right then," Jez whispered to himself again and started to walk down the street stuffing his hands in his pocket. His jacket was lost somewhere in Danny's room. He welcomed the cold maybe it would numb the tearing pain in his chest.

He found himself flat on his back staring up at the brightly-lit ceiling. _Again_. "Sorry," He mumbled. Lola didn't say anything as she pushed off his chest dusting herself off. The other couples still twirled around the dance floor. Jez had missed the lift _again_. And again Lola ended up sprawled over his chest leaving bruises where her elbows crashed into his stomach.

She didn't lend him a hand getting up and it wasn't because he'd dropped her four times already. "Take my _hand_!" She hissed.

"What?" Jez blinked. She sighed snatching his hand from his side and picking back up on the routine. Oh yeah, dancing. That's what they had been doing.

Lola was the only one who was acknowledging his existence. It wasn't like she had much of a choice though. She was his dance partner after all, though if he kept this up she probably wouldn't be much longer. He misstepped and tripped falling into her and taking them both down. Even Lola had her limits. She sprung to her feet with a low growl of frustration.

"I think that's enough for today." Stephan interjected. Lola stomped away and Jez lie there rubbing his hands over his face and though his fingers he watched Danny's back. He averted his gaze quickly finding a tightening pain in his chest. He was the last to head for the door. "Jez, a word?"

"Yeah?" He responded wearily. Stephan made his way over from the opposite side of the studio.

"Is there something wrong? I'm going to be honest with you. That wasn't good. You're one of the best in the class but it seems that in the last couple days . . ."  
"I suck." Jez finished for him.

"Well, I wouldn't quite put it that way but . . . yeah." He crossed his arms over his chest shifting uncomfortably. "Is there something, you maybe . . . wanted to talk about?" He said awkwardly. He always wanted his students to feel that they could come to him when in need but this was easier said than done especially with the look on young Jez's face. Pure distress.

"I'm fine, thanks." Jez murmured without even making the attempt to put forth a fake smile. He readjusted the strap on his shoulder and headed to the changing room. He stood face to face with the changing room door. He couldn't force himself to push it open, not if there was the chance that _he_was still in there. Jez couldn't encounter Danny in the same way he could barley be in the same room with Lauren. She hadn't yet turned to anger her eyes still shown of two things, betrayal and disappointment and that was almost worse than anger. He could handle anger but disappointment was like salt on an already deep cut already slashed by his father's abandonment.

"He's already gone." Jez blinked finding BB standing in front of him holding the door open. Jez quickly scrambled aside for him to pass. BB was just as unhappy with him as the rest of them but on some level he saw Jez's side too. They were best friends after all. They were but now BB wasn't talking to him only those extremely just in small increments usually warning him of Danny's whereabouts and for that Jez was unbelievably grateful for but maybe it was just because BB didn't want there to be a confrontation between the two.

So very quickly their little tight knit group of six had been reduced to four with two being voted off the island. Because it takes two to tango, or in this case sex. Jez wished that sex was all it was. If it were only sex there wouldn't be the tearing pain in Jez's chest. If Danny were there it wouldn't make BB brushing past him so horrible. If Danny were there while they wouldn't have any of their friends they would still have something. Each other. But in the end Jez was only hurting himself because he was the one who was avoiding Danny, he was the one who couldn't look at the green-eyed boy when Danny was screaming at him with his eyes. Again it was that feeling, the one Jez knew really well. Shame. It just wouldn't leave him alone.

He got changed slowly but didn't bother to check the reflection in the mirror. He was sure to see something he didn't like. A complete stranger. Something must be wrong him. Gravely wrong and it was out there plain for anyone to see this was made clear by Stephan.

Danny rubbed circles on the sides of his head where a growing headache was forming with no mercy. There must be something wrong with him. Something terribly twisted and wrong. He missed Lauren. He missed her so much it hurt. He missed her sweet glossed kisses that tasted vaguely of cherries. He missed her laughing, usually at something he said or something silly like tripping over his own feet or a bad joke or something . . . so utterly _Danny_. He missed her curly red hair and the way in felt between his fingers.

He missed Jez. He missed Jez so much that it hurt. He missed Jez's sparkling blue eyes rolling at him when he did something reckless or stupid. He missed the laughter in Jez's eyes when Danny pretended to be serious. He missed the fake annoyance that crossed his face when Danny flopped down on Jez's couch putting his feet up on the expensive leather like he owned the place. Jez pushed his feet off roughly with a scrutinizing expression and it took just about everything Danny had to keep the smirk off his face. It had been Danny in the end that gave away their secret. He should have known, foreseen what would happen with the way Claudine was watching him like a hawk. A big black, jealous hawk.

It was the same couch that they had tripped over the arm of. Danny was caught by the soft cushions but Jez bounced off the smaller boy and found himself flat on his back on the hardwood floor below. Danny laughed for ten minutes straight even though his blood was alcohol free and Jez sat up rubbing the back of his head looking quite dumbfounded.

He missed them both. He felt like there was a whole part of him that was missing and whether or not that part had red or blonde hair was still undetermined. There was most defiantly something wrong with him. So he did the only thing he knew how to do. Run, and he was very good at it. He ran and hid himself from the world like he always did. The back area of the stage was hardly ever used with the exception of shows so it made for the perfect hiding spot. He hid behind the costume racks and the old flats and anywhere where no one would find him. Perfect.

He took off his leather jacket set it neatly beside him and pulled his textbook onto his lap. Much to his dismay, but with lack of other activities to engage himself in, he grudgingly began working though his music theory homework. Reading the though the questions was probably harder than actually finding the answer but he was getting better. The small alcove felt more of a home to him in the last week than his own bedroom and for a second he thought he might know how Jez feels.

Jez had always loved waling home. Sure, back before his father socially disowned him he offered to buy Jez a car. And when he refused his father went out and bought him one anyhow. Some small foreign kind that Jez never bothered to learn the name of. He didn't want a car. He much preferred walking. It was a way to cool down. To think about the days events, the funny moments and the dance routines that he could improve on during the next lesson. To pay no attention to the outside world or what they were doing, something that was highly frowned upon in driving. And you couldn't dance in a car. He would dance down streets and tap down alleyways turning the music up in his ears as loud as he pleased. Now, he felt like there was a burning spotlight on him as he sulked down the sidewalk hands in pockets. He found it the most difficult thing in the world to walk in the rhythm of silence.

There was no music. Not just that there wasn't any, he didn't want music. For the first time since, well he couldn't even remember when he didn't want to sing. He was almost happy that his Mp3 player was missing. He didn't quite remember the last time he had it. Maybe he left it in one of his classes last week or maybe it was lost among the large room that held his clothes and bed, a room he use to call his, a house he use to call home.

It was very possible he lent it to someone. The exchanging of music was not uncommon at a performing arts school. He lost count of numerous times he'd heard _"Can I borrow . . .", "Will you lend . . . " _or_"Let me see your playlists . . ." etc. _Maybe it was BB. Or it could be somewhere in the sound studio with the radio show stuff. Or maybe Danny had it. Jez doubted he would ever see his Mp3 player again. He inwardly groaned at the thought of Danny listening to it. Maybe he was even listening to it right now. If anyone were to have it Jez would want it to be Danny.

He deliberated banging his head against the brick wall he passed. He wondered if the blow would be enough to give him amnesia and he could just forget anyone. If he was in the hospital would his father come? Would anyone come? The voice in the back of his head answered. _Danny would come. And the others too._

But something told him that not knowing why everyone was hatefully mad at you was much worse off than knowing why and deserving it. Then there was the ever-present pain in his chest. Jez blamed the cafeteria food. Then he remembered that he hadn't eaten anything in two days.


	4. Chapter 4

No Laughing Matter

Chaper 4

"This DJ BB and . . . and just BB. Party of one. I'm gonna start you all out with some sick tunes. Call in with some request, or if you just wanna talk to the big B." BB turned off the microphone and hitting the switch on the board for the music mix for that days show. He pulled off his headphones with a sigh. It was difficult to do a radio talk show with only one person. Who was he suppose to talk to? Himself? Surely not. But there was no one else. He was hesitant to admit it, even to himself, that part of him was hoping that Jez would appear in the studio just as he was flipping the 'on air' switch. And of course they wouldn't be ok but they could at least pretend for the show. Then afterwards BB could go on not talking to him.

Jez was no where to be found. He was gone as soon as classes were over not to be seen again until the next day. BB was just as shocked and horrified as anyone else about what happened. And at first when he got the phone call from Lola he didn't believe it at all. But Jez was his best friend. Sure, they haven't known each other all that long but Jez was a good kid, his best mate. At least BB thought he was at one time. Now . . . now BB didn't know what to think.

Ronnie turned up the kitchen radio onto the school station. She cleared plates into the trash can before setting them near the sink. It was a few minutes after the first music break when she realized why it sounded so strange. It turned out the radio show was missing half it's persons. Jez. She didn't know why it took her so long to realize her favorite velvety smooth voice was missing over the radio. Was Jez sick? She hadn't seen him eating in the café for a few days. "I hope he's not sick! I haven't even sent him a get well card!" She was feeling horribly guilty after this. She couldn't even consentrate on her work. Eventually she was sent out to serve the lingering students from lunch after she dropped her third glass.

"Hello, Canteen girl? Am I going to have to get it myself?" Ronnie blinked and found a very displeased brunette with a tray in on hand and the other hand on her hip.

"Oh, I'm so sorry Claudine. What can I get for you?"

"I already told you!" There was a moment of silence before Claudine huffed. "Chicken Panini, no tomatoes." Ronnie scoped a panini out of the warming plate and quickly onto the drama queens tray. She was always just a little scared of Claudine but the question slipped from her mouth instead of her usual goodbye. In place of 'have a nice day' came

"You happen to know where Jez is?" Normally it wouldn't be that big of a deal but by the way Claudine stopped in her tracks and spun around in her sky high heels like Ronnie had insulted her outfit she knew she had asked the wrong question. Pieces of Claudine's perfectly groomed hair stuck to her shiny pink lip gloss.

"If we're lucky he's rotting on the side of road in a ditch!" She snapped clicking away leaving Ronnie in mild shock.

"Danny?" Danny looked up from his desk, which had just recently been moved front and center to help him focus better.

"Yeah?"

"The reading? Are you finished with the first page?" Anna paused in her grading. Danny ran a hand through his curly hair.

"Oh, uh . . . no. Not yet."

"It's been twenty minutes already. You know I only agreed to these private tutoring sessions under one condition." Danny looked down at his book. He watched the letters dance around the page and switch places with each other. "You remember what I said don't you?" Anna said firmly standing up from her desk.

"I had to try." Danny said softly. He blinked several times in hopes that the words would form magically and he would be able to understand all of the text with no problem, just like all the other kids.

"It seems to me that you aren't trying very hard today. Every time I look up you're not reading." Though her voice sounded strict she was really worried for her student. Picking favorites as a teacher wasn't usually smiled upon but she admitted that Danny was. He was so full of energy and passion. He didn't know that why she pushed him so hard. He chose performing arts as a career and in that career _reading _was an essential.

"I'm sorry, I am trying." Danny expected that to be the end of it and she would sit back down and he would battle the text on the page and all the other thoughts in his head fighting for dominance. It seemed a certain blonde was winning. Anna's face softened after analyzing the teens face. She'd been a teacher long enough to recognize the face of distress.

"I think you could try better at home. Go ahead. Get a good nights sleep tonight too." She gave him a reassuring smile but saw no relief on his face.

"No, really I'll finish here."

"Goodbye Mr. Miller." Danny sighed and closed his book and gathered up his stuff. Anna sat back down at her desk and wondered why any student, no matter how dedicated would rather sit in a classroom and study opposed to doing it at home. Danny was long gone by the time she thought to ask.

Lauren patted a makeup brush around her eyes. She stared at her reflection in the mirror. She didn't understand what she had done wrong. She was pretty, wasn't she? Maybe she wasn't as pretty as Claudine. Maybe she wasn't as cute as Lola. She did have some likable qualities though, didn't she? She was so happy with Danny. She thought that maybe things would finally end up in her favor. Her first boyfriend, her first kiss, and dare she say out loud? It made it real. Tear swelled up in her eyed defeating the fresh makeup easily and leaving behind what lay underneath, Red eyes and the broken heart of a pretty girl. But not as pretty as Jez. Even if he was a boy he was pretty. She or anyone else couldn't deny it. Jez, with his blonde hair and blue eyes. Why should anyone want her over him? She wished that it was an easy answer. Danny. Danny would rather have her over Jez even if Danny cheated. In the end he would still pick her. She squeezed her eyes shut and wished. Wished that it was an easy answer, no question about it. In reality she didn't know one way or the other. But not knowing let her pretend that Danny chose her every time.

Danny pushed the ear buds of Jez's mP3 player as far as they would go into his ears before falling backwards onto the bed. He turned up the volume as far as it would go and bit down hard on his lip. He didn't know what to do. He was confused. So confused. He knew he was suppose to like girls. So why couldn't he stop thinking of Jez? He was so confused. There were exactly two times in Danny Miller's life when he was utterly at a loss of what to do. The first, being in front of all those people at the Girls Aloud interview. The second, being right now. He fisted his hands in his hair pulling in frustration. This wasn't how it was suppose to be. Jez was suppose to be a game, just good old fun. Something he couldn't do with Lauren. This was all his fault. He already knew Jez was gay but . . . It wasn't the sex Danny missed. It was Jez.

"Shit."


End file.
